Rob the Fiddler

Whats a “BootScooty Call”? Its kinda like your traditional Booty Call, but takes place at the Boars Nest this Sunday, and every Sunday.
It starts you with Mo Robson on the patio.He puts on a great show, and if you buy him shots or beer, he will drink with ya too.
After that, the Boys Named Sue get down and dirty on stage play their brand of E. Dallas Jukebox Country just the way you like it.
When its all done, you can walk out the door without even having to say bye or call us the next day. We dont mind. We are there for YOUR needs, not ours.

(but please…tip your bartender)

Also….our not so evil twins in each respective band have big weekends planned. Check out these Sue-approved shows.

Slick 57:
CD RELEASE PARTY WEEK!!!!!!!!
Here are the offical parties in a city near you.

Thr 06/27/02 Dub Sues B-Day - Muddy Waters
(bring beef jerky…this is the
pre-release listening party).

Fri 06/28/02 Fort Worth, TX Ridglea Theatre
Sat 06/29/02 Austin, TX Six Of Clubs
Wed 07/03/02 Dallas, TX Club Clearview
Sat 07/06/02 Denton, TX Dusty’s Bar & Grill

Poison Cherry: (Snakebites 1/2 brother that still
drives an IROC. www.poisoncherry.com)
July 3rd - The Rock
July 4th - Hurricane Grill

Trainwreck: (Bobby Sues equally evil twin)
June 28th - Treffs - Ft worth.
June 29th - Adairs
July 4th - Adairs

www.trainwrecktx.com
Ok…that was a lot of typing.

Be safe this Forth of July. Leave the frogs alone…they do no like firecrackers. Dont drink and drive (boats too). Put the toilet seat down.
Bobby Sue
www.boysnamedsue.com
——————————————-

Hey there music fans. Its Bobby Sue again. Wanted to let ya all know that The Boys Named Sue is at Texadelphia on Friday in Deep Ellum.

Yes sir…there is a Texadelphia right there at 2801 Commerce at Crowdus. (by Bakers Ribs)

Inside is “Texs Taphouse”…see ad in Observer pg 79.
(see also $1 pints on Thursdays)

Playing with the boys is JD Whittenburg and Trainwreck.
(Im doing a double shift that night)

It should start somewhere between 9 and 10. If you cant stay for the whole show…at least stop by and say hi and get a sandwich.

Also…Despite popular demand, BNS is STILL playing EVERY SUNDAY until Dallas freezes over at the Boars Nest. Starting at 10pm

Bobby Sue
http://www.boysnamedsue.com

PS…The Breeders arrive on the 14th…Im giddy
with delight!!! Kim Deal Rocks!

———————————–
HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Hope everyone had a good holiday break. Mine was good.

The Boys of the Slick Five-Seven seemed to make it back in one piece from the world tour.

Ok…this is the MONTH OF THE SUE. There are so many ops to see the BEST BAND EVER its just mind boggling.

Check this out
Adairs Mostly Tuesday. We are going to make Tuesdays even more famous that Mondays were for 1100.

and Weds at Muddy Waters….Hump Day will never get any better.

If everyone showed up to just ONE show, we might just be able to pay off our own bar tab.

Jan 7 - Tues - Adairs
Jan 8 - Wed - Muddy Waters
Jan 13 - Mon - Adairs (not Tues….thats why its “mostly”)
Jan 15 - Wed - Muddy Waters
Jan 21 - Tues - Adairs
Jan 22 - Wed - Muddy Waters
Jan 28 - Tues - Adairs
Jan 29 - Wed- Muddy Waters

oh…and here are pics from the last BNS Bash at
Adairs.
http://www.robthefiddler.com/photos/bns_10_2002/bns_10_2002.html

————————
Hey there good buddies.
You know, we spend most our time stopping rumors and the like, and for the most part, only two of them are real.

First…yes….Slick57 is going to Europe and Aussie land and Kiwi Land and this kinda puts a halt on the BNS shows for a while. See us in our FINAL GLORY at Adairs on Sat opening for SpeedTrucker. Im assuming 10ish as usual. No Cover…last show for a LONG time. Buy a shirt or a sticker or get us a shot.

See Flier (watch out for the middle finger)
http://www.robthefiddler.com/photos/server/speedsue2.gif

The other rumor is that whole Trophy Bass for Beer scheme that Snakebite has been running. Our lawyers assure us its totally legit, so long as we do not “Solicit” the investors. Its real, but you didnt hear it from me.

With you always
Bobby Sue.

——————
The Rundown:
Last Boys Named Sue Shows until mid march…maybe
April

TONIGHT: Wed at Muddy Waters - Hawaiian Night
WEEKEND: Sat at Muddy Waters - Classic EDT STYLE!

OK folks…we are running out of time before the slick folks take our Sues out to Europe and other places unknown. So see us.

TONIGHT!!!!!
Its Hawaiian night. Yes folks, crazy shirts, tiki gods, fruity drinks and more references to the Lai and Don Ho than you can stomach.
Dress appropriatly.

SATURDAY
Super Big time finale. This is it. Suits and and everything…done in the classic original outlaw country style. After that, we have a worked up a messy and long awaited break up. This one will be great, with all
kinds of fist fights, dramatic stage dives and a tightly choreographed broadway-like number. There are still spots availble for the roles of:
-Patron who buys the Sues Shots (plenty)
-Flame Eater
-Monkey Boy
-”EZ” the Scandalous Bar Wench (

Hey all. First off, a big thanks to Cindy for the write up. That was neat.

Came across a neat site called South Side Call Box. I dunno what exactly the full premise is, but it made for some interesting reading.

So, my car got broken into over the Christmas vacation. It was in my driveway! Ok…so I was too lazy to clean out my garage. Theres a lot of crap all over the place. What blows my mind is what they took. It appears that they just kinda broke it and grabbed a few things and rifled through my glove box. As far as I can tell, they missed:

3 mic cables
40 bucks cash (in my box)
the remote to the garage
My Gym Bag
A Cd of Matt Thigpen. Ok so its CD with a big Cowboy on it…any self respecting Teenager would pass that one up.

What they did take.

a box of Condoms. (ok this confuses me because….well…I bought them like two years ago and they have been kinda sitting in the Texas heat for 2 summers. What can I say, I was rather optimistic about a particular road trip. Nothing panned out, and all I have to show for it was a box of melted rubbers. Serves em right)

My CD case.
Dang! But lets just go through the Jewel cases and see what they took.

XTC - Skylarking (Great CD…dang…gotta rebuy it)
Parliaments Greatest hits ( again…gotta buy it)
This is Acid Jazz. ( I have regulated Acid Jazz to Computer work…its all mp3ified…fagidaboutit)
Time Out - Dave Brubeck Quartet - (DUDE!!!! I just bought it like a week before Fuck YOU)
Space Age Bachelor Pad Music - Esquivel (Chicks dig it…Gotta replace)
Its It - SugarCubes
Morning Wood - Rugburns (Where am I going to find that one….we used to open for them in 1991!)
Mommy Im Sorry - Rugburns (Again…one Asshole kid ruins it for me…the pain!)
Travelling without Moving - Jamiroquai (ahhhh…genius…frick…another rebuy)
Sly - Massive Attack
Repo Man Soundtrack (Ok this is the ONLY exception to my “no soundtrack” rule).
Best of Oingo Boingo
Dots and Loops - Stereolab ( dang )
Pizza Deliverance - Drive By Truckers (it was signed too…..fuckers!)
Django Rhienhart and Stephan Grapelli (just a bunch of old 1930s jazz…why?)

So…looking at that list…what kinda Plano misspending youth would even bother with any of that kinda stuff. Its all good. My only comfort is that maybe I helped to shape the listening habits of some fuckhead kid who owes me 150 bucks for my window.

anyway….to clean out a few more items on my too do list. Jd and I had a little email thing about music critics. I had a whole
rant done up, but erased the whole thing when I came across these little jems that covered it all pretty well.

Your Guide to Spotting the North American Rock Critic

This one hits home. Its a big read though

Bummer Southwest is calling it quits.!

Yes, you are a groupie’ and 35 more things every rock critic should know
By Michael Corcoran and Robert Wilonsky
Austin American-Statesman
Thursday, March 14, 2002
Nearly 700 music critics, several of whom don’t have a record review in the new Blender, will be scouring our town for information this week. Here’s a heapin’ helpin’ of the truth all at once.

1. Writing for rollingstone.com isn’t the same as writing for Rolling Stone. But then, these days writing for Rolling Stone isn’t the same as writing for Rolling Stone.
2. Guitars do not “ring” or “chime.” Bells do.
3. Go ahead and admit it: You don’t get the Velvet Underground.
4. Using rap slang in your reviews only makes you come off more like a white kid from the suburbs.
5. The first person is not the First Amendment. It’s a privilege, not a right.
6. Ryan Adams has no talent.
7. It’s a record review, not a term paper.
8. Three of the most frightening words ever: “The American MOJO.”
9. Your band stinks.
10. Alejandro Escovedo doesn’t really like you — he’s using you.
11. Lou Reed doesn’t really hate you — he’s just using you.
12. Dressing like a rock star doesn’t make you look like a rock star: It only reinforces the stereotype that critics are musician wannabes (Boy, that’s three David Fricke refs in a row.)
13. Stop trying to make Richard Thompson famous. Ain’t gonna happen.
14. Dude, I can’t believe we went to the same concert.
15. Do not quote other rock critics. Hanging out with them is pathetic enough.
16. Lester Bangs is dead. What’s your excuse?
17. Saying you like Radiohead’s “difficult” albums will only encourage them.
18. You can’t have a “benefit concert” for millionaires, no matter what Don Henley says.
19. You don’t really like heavy metal. So stop writing about it already.
20. Three more of the most frightening words ever: “Robert Christgau protege.”
21. If you’ve ever received a rejection from No Depression, you might want to consider another career path.
22. Don’t you dare cross the street to avoid Mojo Nixon. Five years ago you were sucking up to him.
23. If you receive a sex tape featuring a prominent R&B artist and don’t dub copies for friends, then you deserve the Chicago Sun-Times.
24. If you’ve ever shared a hot tub with a rock star, please keep it to yourself.
25. “Yo La Tengo” is Spanish for “Critics Can’t Rock.”
26. Before you take a job with Rolling Stone you should know that the name on Jann Wenner’s business card is “Charles Foster Kane.” (This is not a joke.)
27. Let’s see if you can write a concert review without using any of these words: pulsating, pounding, post-(something).
28. Greil Marcus has earned the right to not make sense. You haven’t.
29. Having Courtney Love hit on you during an interview is as special as a free coffee refill.
30. Go ahead and give Willie Nelson a bad review. You know you want to.
31. Would you please stop that incessant, jerky, head-bobbing? Standing behind you at a show is like staring at a strobe light.
32. Don’t ask. Don’t tell. (If you’re from out of town, Cheapo buys everything.)
33. Who the heck is encouraging all those telemarketers posing as publicists?
34. Three things you know nothing about: dance music, hip-hop and jazz.
35. Re: the Strokes. Make up your mind already.

The Rules of Rock

1) Don’t misspell any words in your band’s name. Many bands opt to switch the letter ‘I’ for the letter ‘y’. This is cool if you’re into everyone with 1/8 to 1/6 a brain assuming that you are a crappy jock/rap/metal band. For instance, Limp Bizkit, Strait Up, and Korn are all these type of bands. Are any of them good? Check and mate.

2) Avoid using food products in your band’s name. Chances are you’ll misspell it anyways. Also, chances are you’ll pick some crappy food over a tasty one.

3) Don’t wear your band’s own shirts. No exceptions or excuses accepted. Don’t think the “but I’m on tour and we haven’t been able to wash our clothes, it’s the only thing clean I had to wear” story is gonna fly� wear the dirty shirt, you’re a rocker my friend.

4) Don’t play reggae unless you are in Bad Brains.

5) Cowboy hats are for cowboys only. That is why they are called cowboy hats. You aren’t Madonna nor are you trend setting. And unless your main transportation is a horse just don’t wear a cowboy hat, or you’re a total poser cowboy.

6) This one here is a no brainer and it’s mainly, but not solely, directed towards the ska bands. DO NOT insert the name of your genre, or something related to your genre into your band’s name. You don’t see any good bands attempt this. (except Metallica, but they have songs about satan so it’s cool) The best solution to this problem is to not start a ska band in the first place, cos not only are ska bands just itching to break this rule and prove their dorkdom, but nobody’s scoring gash with a ska band anyway.

7) Avoid using the words theory, project, or plan in the title of your band name.
Don’t play funk. Don’t even joke about playing funk.

9) Mc Hammer pants aren’t cool anymore, don’t wear them. Yeah, Fred, we’re talking to you.

10) Visors on band members (or anyone for that matter) earn yourself a bitch slap. If you have your visor sideways, upside down, or both your penalty increases to additional groin area pummeling.

11) For shows, props are generally a bad idea. They usually stimulate the audience’s what-the-hell sensors. If you do decide to use one, make sure it’s small and you don’t spend most of your time playing with it. Unless of course you are the Beastie Boys, it’s 1986, you’re opening for Madonna, and you have a giant two story penis on stage.

12) If your band has a cozy fan base of say, five, skip out on the huge rock star banner. It is key to grasp the idea that people don’t operate on the if-they-have-a-banner-they-have-to-be-good mentality.

13) Never ever have all members wear the same shirt. This is a ridiculous concept and should not be explained.

14) If you’re playing your hometown, don’t say, “What’s up (town)”. This phrase is reserved for the out of town and/or touring bands. You might make them mad by stealing their pep speech.

15) If you’re playing outside of your hometown, don’t say, “What’s up (town)”. This phrase screams shoot me in the face.

16) Preaching is for church, shut up and rock.

17) Cordless guitars are only ok if your first name is Eddie, your last name is Van Halen, and you kick ass at playing a guitar with a power drill. If this is not the case, don’t venture there.

18) Playing your guitar up by your neck makes you look like a geek. Period. If you need an example, take a cue from a few of the greats� look at Slash’s guitar height, or maybe take a peek at where Duff let the bass rest, or possibly look at just how low Krist Noviselic rode his rock axe.

19) If you play bass make sure you have only 4 strings. If you play guitar make sure you only have 6 or less. If you play drums know that if your set looks like something Tommy Lee would play while hanging upside down, you are a jackass. You don’t need 12 cymbals fruitcake.

20) Gold hardware and/or wood stained anything is a no-no. Ditto for neon anything.

21) White cordless mics were used by Vanilla Ice, don’t travel the same road.

22) Unless you are an immortal rock god, spitting or throwing water into the crowd instantaneously eliminates any chance you had at getting laid that night. It may ensure you getting your ass kicked though.

23) Covering new wave songs, oldies, or current Top 40 songs means your band sucks mad horse dong. The “hey wouldn’t it be funny to cover that N’sync song and make it punk” idea is about as funny as a knee to the crotch.

24) If all of your songs are about how much you miss your girlfriend, do us all a favor and instead of touring, stay home geek.

25) Kick out the fat guy, he’s the reason you are never gonna be big.

26) If you’re fat, kick yourself out, you’re blowing it for the rest of the band.

26) If you’re a metal band, make sure that you are a metal band before you say you are a metal band. A pretty fool proof test is to ask yourself if you think Rob Halford would be into your band back in the days when Judas Priest was the shit.

27) If you have a DJ make sure he at least has two turntables. We actually recommend no DJ, but if you gotta go there…

28) We take that back. No DJ’s. This DJ in bands shit has to stop now.

29) Shave. Beards = blowing it.

30) Don’t wear backwards baseball caps, unless you’re the Beastie Boys.

31) Use a pick. If you play slap bass you need your fingers broken.

32) Don’t tell the crowd what they can and can’t do. You’re not in Fugazi. If you want to be a cop, get off the stage and go join the police academy champ.

33) Unless you’re the headliner you shouldn’t be playing hour and a half sets, keep it short. The idea that, “Hey these people don’t seem to like us, maybe they just didn’t like those songs, let’s play some more until we play one they like” is never accurate. Get off the stage. We want to go home.